I’m a little defensive about my “bride” status. I totally want to marry Colin. I can’t wait to be his WIFE. But the business of being a bride feels a little sour to me. It’s such an overly-marketed industry. Brides-to-be are assaulted by a constant barrage of magazine and blog articles that tell them what they should be doing, thinking, checking off their lists… There’s pressure to spend, diet, stretch and obsess over the entire process of planning a wedding.
What’s your theme?
Where’s your ring?
Where are you getting married?
Are you doing a unity candle?
Who is officiating?
Who is catering?
Like… SHUT UP. If you want to know all these details, work hard to be on my good side so that you get invited, fool.
No, seriously.
I am trying really hard to follow my gut and my heart, not what the current trends are. I don’t usually have any trouble being non-traditional.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen? No thanks. I’d much rather my closest friends not feel pressure to have to pony up money for fancy clothes and make them stand with locked knees, risking an oh-my-god-she-fainted embarrassing experience.
Father giving me away? I’m sorry, I’m 30 years old and I’ve been married once. I’m also pretty sure that I was never something that my father would ever consider giving away. I’m his daughter and I always will be…
Overpriced bouquet? How about wildflowers instead? Or just a whole crap load of baby’s breath tied with twine? Or maybe no flowers for me at all. What if I just carry an axe? Or a whomp-’em stick?
White dress with train and veil complete with faux-virginity? What about a cute yellow dress instead? How about something I’ll feel beautiful in on THAT DAY and any other day I decide to wear it?
Colin has to consistently reel me in. He’s more traditional than me, but still a very creative person who doesn’t feel like he has to do any of this “their” way… But he has to pull me back down to earth sometimes.
It’s going to be interesting planning this wedding. Our budget? Nearly invisible, it’s so tiny. Our plans? Big. Beautiful. We’re going to make it happen and I’m excited to share exactly HOW we plan to do it. So…
Enter the new blog category, Anti-Bride.
And holy crap — getting married in just over ten months, y ‘all!
Dude…anti-bride. This whole wedding nonsense is out of control. And unity candle my ass. Hate those things. Almost as much as I hate the sand art ceremony.
But… But… But… You mean you don’t want me to play the violin and sing sappy love songs from the late eighties while you and Jer stand in front of trio of white tapers and whisper to each other for six minutes?