I’ve only taken a handful of dating breaks in my adult life. Generally speaking, the breaks come after some sort of what-the-fucked-up’d situation that has left me confused or frustrated or angry.
For example, when I ended things with Hot Single Dad the first time (and really, it should have been IT then. I was dickmatized hardcore there.) I probably told myself that I’d take a [insert period of time] break and then I actually took a [divide that period of time by four] break instead. That’s generally how it goes. I’m trying to recollect the break right after HSD last spring and I guess it was my Summer of Celibacy.
Yea, alright peanut gallery. Shut the fuck up with the laughing so I can get on with this little blog post.
I did good! For most of the summer. Then I befriended Ginger. And the befriending led to benefiting one another with orgasms… Or something. And we all remember how that one ended right? Seriously, I take a 10-week vow of celibacy and then break it and it’s with THAT GUY? Seriously? The one in the kilt? So, yet again, I was left feeling BLEH and this time, I was angry. I had no idea that Ginger had a girlfriend and I really didn’t think that “Do you have a girlfriend?” was the kind of question you needed to ask a guy when he’s buying you drinks. I’ve learned a lot in the last two years.
And that was when I took the second dating break of 2009. I don’t really even think that one stuck very long. I’m trying to remember who else I dated at the end of last year? That’s terrible, right? God… Well, I suppose if I can’t remember, it must not be that important. OH! Right… Dr. Dude was in there. And then I went ping-ponging around, back and forth with HSD uhhhh-gain, like a motherfucking puppet.
So, needless to say, this year has been a bit less… Um… active. I love men, I love dating, I really think I DO want a boyfriend, but Jesus, I’m bad at choosing! Two brief interactions, one with Gong Balls and one with that hot-cold-hot-cold doofus in the Vibram Five Fingers. And then… David. Lawd have mercy… Eventually, I’m going to actually consider writing about some of the off-the-wall shit that happened when that motherfucker started to tailspin, but it’s too soon and I need some space from it so that I can write about it as objectively as possible.
So, in summary: 2010 has brought you Jami Sucks at Dating, Season 2.
So I threw my hands up. I disabled my OkCupid profile for SIX WEEKS. That’s the longest I’ve ever left it disabled. It sounds stupid, but when you’re used to checking in and reading emails a few times a week, it’s a feat to just cut yourself off cold-turkey. It was a good six weeks and I’m not really sure WHY I felt the need to re-enable it, but I did and there’s been little to no activity there since I’ve re-enabled it. I’m not emailing dudes and the emails I’m getting are… hilarious in a really awful kind of way.
“Hey now! You sound like a freak like me…………………..”
Yea… Awesome, man. I’ve still got my OkCupid profile up because, what’s the harm? I don’t have the obsessive need to check-check-check as soon as I get a notification for an email in my inbox there. But a couple of weeks ago, I did what I always do — I made a public declaration that I would not be dating for the rest of the year.
And then, the universe, being the fucking bitch that she is, was all, “Oh, really?” And has thrown me a curveball.
I had a non-date on Friday night last week meaning, I’m still not dating but I’m meeting a man for drinks.
Yes, the same night as my WRITE CLUB event. I didn’t find out about the WRITE CLUB until Monday and I had already made plans with this dude. His nickname will be… Giant. But he’s a writer as well and was more than amenable to sharing the evening. The funny thing was, after we had dinner and drinks, we headed over to the venue and I realized MY PARENTS WOULD BE THERE. Ha. Apparently, this had already crossed his mind, but he had muscled through the panic. I’m so fucking dense sometimes.
Oh, and my sister. And my sister’s best friend. And a bunch of my friends who all exchanged pleasantries with a side-glance to me, “Who’s the Giant?” And I’m all, “We had a non-date. It’s a thing.” And everyone is left more confused than we all were to start with. Oof.
But it was fine. The night was spectacular. He drove me home after the show and didn’t try to cop a feel or make a move or anything and I felt great about that. And we’ve been talking a lot more and I think we’re getting a bit more cozy with one another. We have our second date/non-date/whatever it is tomorrow night. I think it’ll be good to hang out without the distractions of MY FAMILY TREE and all of that.
So, dear readers, meet Giant. The newest Freak In Pursuit. In my seemingly never ending effort to cock block myself, I will fail miserably at attempting to not write about my personal dating life. So look for updates.